Today's ups and downs

I'm writing this on June 30, 2010

The day started off like any other change the baby, feed her and then get myself ready for the day. If you read my previous post you will know that me and the baby have not been out for a few days because of issues with the car. Today we finally got to leave the heat of the trailer about a fourth of the roof is covered with duck tape now and we'll finish it when we have some extra money as if there really is such a thing but we'll make due. The ride was very depressing there was really no reason for me and the baby to ride along with my husband on his way to work, we have no money to go grocery shopping or anything so I just walked around the store and looked at everything we need but can't afford. I'm sure you've done that before whoever you are reading this, its a very unpleasant activity that's for sure.

After my husband got done with work we went to visit his mother to see if she had the rent to give us because we have to pay it tomorrow. She gave us enough for the space but not to keep the lights on so hopefully the lights don't go off. His mother said that was all the money that she had even though she is going to be moving into a house sometime within the month. She likes to tell everyone what a great person she is because she moved out of her home to give us one. What she doesn't tell people is that we are the ones doing her a favor by taking her shitty trailer and paying the bills for it so she can save for a real house. She never let us save money to get the hell out of here, we always owed her money for something. We actually got accepted for low income housing about three days before she moved out but because she already had most of her stuff out we decided to stay and give her a chance at getting a real house instead of this shit whole that is falling apart. In some of the rooms walls are missing and about half the rooms don't have a door. One day I will have to post some pictures of when she still had all her stuff here, it was well I'll let you chose your own words when I post the pictures. She doesn't even realize what we've done for over the last few years, she only sees how many times shes had to buy us diapers or gas for the car.We would not have a problem paying the rent right now if we would of just taken the apartment with low income because they would've lowered it when our income lowered, but if we would've moved out after she had most of her stuff out she would've had a total fit. We told her we planned on moving out when I was about six months pregnant so that I could live closer to my family and mine and the baby's doctor and she about had a come apart so we knew leaving was not an option anyways. We also paid the rent for her almost the whole time we lived with her and she can pay it part of the way for us once. My family doesn't even understand how her mind works I mean what mother charges their son rent from the time they are 14, and now she has a notebook with a list of everything we have ever borrowed from her but we have given her almost 10,000 dollars of the years so I think we have her little notebook covered and then some. Her son left school to help support her so I think she can buy a few cans of formula for us. Sorry I went off on that a little but shes just frustrating sometimes.

When we got home we got a little preview of how the rest of our month might be the lights were out, thankfully nothing in the fridge went bad before the power came back on, still haven't eaten anything today I was going to heat something up when I got home but I couldn't work the microwave with the power out obviously. It would suck to have no power.

Then finally the power came on and things started looking up. My husband does tattoos when he can and someone texted him and wanted one tonight two people actually so now we can pay the electric, I guess there weren't a lot of ups but one is better than none.

Another down is I checked my status on where or not I was gonna get medical and it says I have been automatically denied hopefully when they go through all of my paper work they will change their mind. Right now my husband is still doing tattoos so I still can't eat anything but soon I hope. I had fried potatoes around two in the morning, they where good but I would have liked to eat a little earlier than that or later however you wanna look at that.